Why Won’t My Therapist Just Tell Me What to Do?
I’m a woman who’s about to turn 30
and started therapy for the first time last year. I went because it became
apparent that what I thought was just “me” was actually “me with depression,”
and therapy has really helped me acknowledge it and start to work through
it. Now for maybe the first time in my life I know what it feels like not
to be moody all the time (I used to think this was “normal”) and that’s been
amazing. My point is that therapy has been useful and even life-changing —
except for one thing.
How the Brain Gets Addicted to Gambling
When Shirley was in her mid-20s she
and some friends road-tripped to Las Vegas on a lark. That was the first time
she gambled. Around a decade later, while working as an attorney on the East
Coast, she would occasionally sojourn in Atlantic City. By her late 40s,
however, she was skipping work four times a week to visit newly opened casinos
in Connecticut. She played blackjack almost exclusively, often risking
thousands of dollars each round—then scrounging under her car seat for 35 cents
to pay the toll on the way home.
Seven Good Reasons to Blame Your Partner (And Why None
of Them Are Good Enough)
#7 — It’s Easy!
Under stress it’s often easier to
see what someone else is doing wrong than what you are doing wrong. It’s easier
to see the food stuck in your partner’s teeth than your own. To see your own
you would first need to locate a mirror and then look into it. And then you
would need to open your lips to be able to see your own teeth. And we’re not
even talking yet about finding the motivation to locate and look in the mirror,
much less to expose the ugly condition of your teeth to yourself.
Why Is Therapy So Expensive?
After a bout of breakup-induced
anxiety and depression, 31-year-old New York City resident Emily Taylor decided
to look for a therapist. But finding a mental health professional to accept her
Anthem Blue Cross and Blue Shield insurance plan proved to be nearly
“I spent days looking for therapists
near me that were covered by my insurance,” Taylor said. “For the very few I
did find, I spent over five hours on the phone trying to get appointments,
[only] to find that they were either not accepting new patients or the wait
time was two months.
Living Life, One Day at a Time
Whether you're in
recovery or not, the mantra"one day at a time"can
help to keep
your feet on the ground. Really, our only option is to
take things one day at a time.
But, some days, living life one day at a time can feel incredibly
frustrating. We want
to be "better" or "recovered"
or changed in some wayright now. Daily progress feels
get impatient. Why can't the bright future you imagine just be here
There is a changing trend in therapy. Time was a client entering therapy could
expect, and perhaps fear, a long stay. I
think being trapped in therapy was
dreaded by many and kept some from going to therapy despite a need for help.
Today the field of therapy has accepted a reality that many come to therapy because
they are experiencing a problem that they need help with, yet are not wanting a
long term excavation of their psyche.
I believe that this is a positive change and have seen a
change in my practice.
My clients and I spend a lot of time looking at why their partners don't do what they expect. Simply put, men and women are very different. Here is an article by Laura Schaefer that helps explain differences:
The Male Brain, Explained
By Laura Schaefer
have puzzled over it for years—why the heck do men do the things they do? Why
do they profess their love for you one minute, then ignore you the next (say,
when an Attila the Hun special turns up on TV)? Why can they not remember our